The perfect match...

Girl was in her late thirties and still not married.She just had a hard time
meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she
decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper. Girl wrote:
"Looking for a man who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is excellent in
bed." ..

Several days went by and she hadn't gotten a single call. Then, one day she
was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked
upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair
with no arms and no legs.

"Can I help you?" Girl asked. .. He said, "I am the man of your dreams!" ..
Girl was baffled. She said, "Excuse me." .. "I read your personal ad in the
paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I can't beat you.
I have no legs, so I can never leave you."
..

"But are you good in bed?" Girl asked. ..
He replied, "How do you think I knocked the door?!"