Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up.
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
She said "THE BASTARD USED COINS!!!"
Management lesson:
ALWAYS CONSIDER A BUSINESS PROPOSAL IN ITS ENTIRETY!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Logitech's new device
Good news for all those artistic minds working on Adobe's Creative Suite to create digital art. For people familiar with Adobe's Creative suite like the Photoshop, it is a a common feature to use keyboard shortcuts for common operations. But, memorizing these shortcuts is a pain staking and time consuming task. Even after years of experience you will still not remember all the shortcuts. Logitech has come up with a new device which could be a boon for all those artistic souls trying to create magic with bits and bytes. Also, it could mean more productivity and more money for the companies into the business of computer graphics. This device which can be worked on with your non-mouse using hand has buttons exclusively developed for the shortcuts.
For more info click on the links below,
http://stereoxide.wordpress.com/2006/02/23/control-freak/
http://home.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/
http://blog.wired.com/monkeybites/
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Good Dog...
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a very unusual funeral procession. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in a single line.
The man could not stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am sorry for your loss, and i know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied "well, the first coffin is for my wife."
The inquisitive man asked "What happened to her?"
The man replied "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Please join the queue."
The man could not stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am sorry for your loss, and i know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied "well, the first coffin is for my wife."
The inquisitive man asked "What happened to her?"
The man replied "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Please join the queue."
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Business Search Engine
Nothing great about this search engine, except that it is designed specifically for the purpose of searching business and finance related topics on the web. Of course not a Google beater by any stretch of imagination. But, for people who are business geeks and would not like to see their search page cluttered with non-business related stuff would enjoy the search results on this engine. Just one more innovative business idea on the web. Well, for other not so business savvy people you can skip this one. I don't have to tell you what other search engine options you have - as if you were looking for options.
Click on the link to take a look at the site,
Business Chambers
Click on the link to take a look at the site,
Business Chambers
Monday, February 20, 2006
Apple machines finally have a virus?
I don't know the credibility of this story. But, I got a mail today in my inbox citing the attack of a virus on Apple machines. The virus spreads thro' the iChat, the popular chat messenger on Apple machines. Click on the image to read the details of this story.
Friday, February 17, 2006
The Java Story
Got this as a mail forward from one of my colleagues at work. This is a story about the birth of Java and the sub-plots that led to the birth of Java and it's subsequent developments. It is truly a case study for all those intereseted or involved in the business of selling or marketing computer software or hardware. Even if you are least bit bothered about the happenings in the IT world and the world economy is as good as non-existant to you, this story will be a truly interesting read as it has all the twists and turns of a hollywood business drama. Read on...
The Java Story
P.S: This story is courtesy of a mail forwarded to me by my friend at work Anil.
The Java Story
P.S: This story is courtesy of a mail forwarded to me by my friend at work Anil.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
World's most corrupt nations
Click on the link below to find out the top ten most corrupt nations in the world. The list published by Forbes Magazine has mostly the African nations in its list. Surprisingly, India does not feature in the top ten. And we always thought there can be no country worse than India in corruption.
World's Most Corrupt Nations
World's Most Corrupt Nations
If you love someone...
It's just that kind of a day today. Feeling too mushy I feel. Anyway a touching moral...
Touch 'N Inspire
Touch 'N Inspire
Fire fighters
One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside
the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive
lames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical
company president rushed to the fire chief and said: "All our secret
formulas are
in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give
$50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon, more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became
desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the
offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the
company's secret files.
>From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into
sight. It was the volunteer fire company from the nearby Norwegian rural
township, composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's
amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the
sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the
inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers
jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It
was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and
had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president
announced hat for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to
$200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire
fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking
their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief,
"Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive
lames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical
company president rushed to the fire chief and said: "All our secret
formulas are
in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give
$50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon, more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became
desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the
offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the
company's secret files.
>From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into
sight. It was the volunteer fire company from the nearby Norwegian rural
township, composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's
amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the
sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the
inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers
jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It
was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and
had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president
announced hat for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to
$200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire
fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking
their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief,
"Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
The perfect match...
Girl was in her late thirties and still not married.She just had a hard time
meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she
decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper. Girl wrote:
"Looking for a man who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is excellent in
bed." ..
Several days went by and she hadn't gotten a single call. Then, one day she
was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked
upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair
with no arms and no legs.
"Can I help you?" Girl asked. .. He said, "I am the man of your dreams!" ..
Girl was baffled. She said, "Excuse me." .. "I read your personal ad in the
paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I can't beat you.
I have no legs, so I can never leave you."
..
"But are you good in bed?" Girl asked. ..
He replied, "How do you think I knocked the door?!"
meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she
decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper. Girl wrote:
"Looking for a man who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is excellent in
bed." ..
Several days went by and she hadn't gotten a single call. Then, one day she
was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked
upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair
with no arms and no legs.
"Can I help you?" Girl asked. .. He said, "I am the man of your dreams!" ..
Girl was baffled. She said, "Excuse me." .. "I read your personal ad in the
paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I can't beat you.
I have no legs, so I can never leave you."
..
"But are you good in bed?" Girl asked. ..
He replied, "How do you think I knocked the door?!"
My Apologies...
I had messed up the template settings for my blog and my blog had gone for a toss. My blog wasn't getting updated because of this stupid mistake of mine. I am extremely sorry for the error and apologise to all the regulars on my blog.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
What a coincidence...
A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a female
patron.
He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too".
She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile,
but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to
have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!
How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
patron.
He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too".
She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile,
but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to
have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!
How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
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