Smells Like Calvin Spirit

What's in a name?

2006-11-28T21:09:00.000+05:30

What's in a name? Well, it didnt really matter to Shakesphere what the name of a person. And, I dont think mindset of people has changed a lot about a name even in this era. Well, if you still do think a lot about a name you must be seriously out of work or you have retired from work and are looking for some different hobby to hook on to. Well, on a more serious note what I am coming to say is there is nothing more to a name than just a means of identification.

But, I guess a name means more than just a, well a name. At least that's what one can derive from the changing of names of so many cities across India. First it was the three metros of India - Bombay, Calcutta, Madras where renamed as Mumbai, Kolkatta, Chennai respectively. Now, the "christening" bug has infected the Government of Karnataka. They have decided to rename Bangalore to Bengaluru and subsequently there are plans to change the names of other major cities into some names which invokes the need of a small crash course in pronunciations.

Well modifying the famous Shakespherean question you might ask "What's in changing a name?". It wouldn't have affected us if the Chief Minister of Karnataka decided to change his son's name into something more primitive just to accomodate the kannada image into his name. Maybe, a big bash worth a few lakhs for the change of name. But, changing the name of a city involves a lot of expenditure. For one all the direction markers have to be replaced. Change the administrative records according to the new name.

Even if the financial expenses are ignored as a one time expense ( I guess the Karnataka Government coffers are overflowing with funds. Wonder why the infrastructure is still taking a beating with all this excess funds?) the image of Bangalore which is been built across decades partially depends on the name of the city as well. Bangalore has risen as the IT capital of India by the rush of multi national IT majors from across the globe. And, for all these multi nationals Bangalore still will be Bangalore except when they might look at Bengaluru in some memorandoms they might sign on. Even then they might wonder is it the name of a pre-historic mammal. Anyone who has worked on building a brand does know the brand name holds the key. The name Rolls Royce gives you the immediate feeling of royal luxury and comfort. Its the same with the brand called Bangalore. Even if it looks Bangalore has risen fast as the IT capital of India, the brand name Bangalore is still in the process of catching on worldwide. I wont say Bangalore is barely known by people. After all there is term called Bangalored. But its Bangalored not Bengalured. That is the difference a brand name can make. It can make or break a brand. Will the change of name make or break only time will say.

Let's ignore the brand name part as well. Bangalore has enough IT majors who have set up their shop in the city. Bangalore (pardon me I still find Bangalore catchy) can pull through. But, does it really matter to you or anyone what is Bangalore called. Well, the legislators might also ask the same question. If it doesnt bother you why make an issue out of it? To their kind information it doesnt really matter to me neither does it to the millions of others. They will still call Bangalore, Bangalore. But it will hurt the pockets of millions of tax payers of Karnataka who pay taxes in the hope of living a better and smoother life. I guess living a smoother and efficient life is passe. Changing the name seems to be more appealing to our legislators which is the only reason that justifies the expenditure on changing names. Or is it some superstition like most of the Bollywood filmmakers have about the names of their movies? Or is it to compete with the three metros whose names are changed (the names were pronunciable at least unlike the long Bengaluru)? After all Bangalore is no less than a metropolitan, might be termed a metro pretty soon as well. So then we are stuck with the same question. What's in a name? However, deep you try to dig into the mystery you return back clueless. As usual compromise with the decisions of the pot bellies and carry on with your mundane day to day activities, ignoring your rights to question a decision even if it is right. After all we are the world's largest democracy. Or are we really a democracy? About that issue, some other time. For now lets have some fun in free time and start helping out with some innovative names for the other cities.

Preacher's Ass

2006-11-25T20:19:00.000+05:30

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races.However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race.The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey.The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go.Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

technorati tags:Jokes

Blogged with Flock

Why Smells Like Calvin Spirit?

2006-10-21T16:34:00.000+05:30

Why is my blog named after Calvin???? Hmmm... I had a lot of names on my mind before I settled on this name. Before I could start off with this blog, I had published one more blog. I had named it as some chronicle.... Well it was a long time back. So why am I ruminating about the name of my blog now? Well its been more than a year since I published my first post and its been alomost 5 months since I published anything on my blog. A lot of things has been happening in this last four months and blogging sure was not one of them. Today I was looking thro' all my posts and felt suddenly that I have been missing something in this last five months and I have decided to correct it. Well, I have decided to blog again, albeit in a very small and few and far between posts way, I have decided better late than never.

Well I guess I deviated a bit from the topic I started with. What was it? Yeah, why is my blog called "Smells like Calvin Spirit". As I said, I had a lot of names on my mind for my blog. I wanted it to sound a bit cranky, sound more like me. Already I had tried my hands at a blog, a very serious one at that and felt miserable when I looked back at the posts I had published in that blog. The blog looked more of a daily journal rather than what I wanted it to be. I wanted the blog to be an extension of me rather than just a daily journal of all my mundane activities. But, it was not a bad experience all together. It gave me the first taste of what blogging was and it taught me what I wanted and not wanted from my blog.

Again I guess I am deviating from my topic. But, I thought a bit of history was needed before I could give you the actual reason for picking this name for my blog. Those were the days when I was really feeling lonely and I had very few friends. All I was doing then was work from morning to evening, go back home, eat food and sleep. I also used to get a lot of Calvin mails those days and used to love reading them. Like Calvin had Hobbes as his companion, I made Calvin my companion. I used to think so much like Calvin, even though I knew he was just a fictional charecter born out of someone's imagination. He felt so real and true to me and so close to what I felt and feel even now. That's when I decided I would dedicate a blog to my companion Calvin. But, I didnt want the blog to entirely be a collection of Calvin Strips. I wanted it to contain topics which would have the free wheeling, out of the box thinking essence depicted by this tiny kid Calvin. I wanted topics with a bit of mean streak, a bit of nonsensical humor, procrastination, opinionated about anything and everything that goes on around him and everything that depicted the spirit of Calvin and made him an immortal in people's minds. Voila, what better name than Calvin Spirit. But it still didnt have that ring to it. Then the Nirvana song started playing on my head phones. Smells like teen spirit. Nothing else could take my mind away from the name of my new blog. It had to be SMELLS LIKE CALVIN SPIRIT. I didnt give a damn about what people thought about the name then neither do I give a damn now. But, looking back at all the posts I have made on this blog I dont regret about it like I did with my earlier blog. Neither does it look like a mundane daily journal. I feel I have kept the spirit of Calvin alive in me still when I look at the blog.

I may have stopped blogging for a while now. Maybe the very reason I had started this blog is no more a reason. I have lots of friends for company now. I dont feel I am lonely now. Maybe I ignored my old pal Calvin for the new ones I made. I am feeling a sort of guilt for not being able to give attention to my friend in the times of my loneliness. Does this mean I am lonely again? Nope, certainly not. But, that doesnt mean I have to look down on my blog right? So I guess I have made up my mind to make blogging a part of my life again. And who better to share my thoughts at this point of my life than my pal, my companion, Calvin who is the spirit of my blog.

I think I have bored yuo enough now. Which is not what this blog is meant for. I made this blog to entertain myself and the few people who might love to read it. I guess I have lost the faith of some people who might have been visiting my blog. I wish to repay them back in whatever small way I can. So, in true Calvin spirit, let the journey to finding Utopia begin.

2006-06-22T20:42:00.000+05:30

metallica- one

Into the dark side

The Supernatural...

2006-04-29T13:44:00.000+05:30

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........
Ju st when the! clock struck 11...

and then......

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner

Calvin - Bathroom Escapades

2006-04-08T15:42:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Bathroom Escapades(To be continued...)

2006-04-08T15:35:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Breaking up a task

2006-04-08T15:03:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Food Anyone?

2006-04-08T15:02:00.000+05:30

Clipmark

2006-03-28T16:53:00.000+05:30

Have you ever desired to have a space of your own in the world wide web but were too lazy to build a website of your own or were not able to do so because of lack of knowledge of html?
I know there is wikipedia which is kind of a pioneer in helping people post their views and publish into an html page without the knowledge of html or stylesheets and so on (Even though wikipedia allows you to edit an online page, it does not allow you to have a website of your own).
Then there are options like blogger-which is my most preferred option- and numerous other blogspaces which offers you an opportunity to post your views and publish it into a webpage which you can be proud of.
And as a last option you can always hire someone to build and maintain your webpage. This is the best option as it gives you a wide flexibility and versatility in what you can do with your site. But, it definitelty comes with a hefty price tag.
All of the above options requires you to key in at the least a few lines to make a meaningful post which can be converted into a sleek looking html webpage by the service providers. What if you want everything served on a platter and all you need to do is just swallow the bit placed in your mouth (yep, you don't even have to use the spoons)?
Enter Clipmarks a really innovative way to stamp your imprint on the world wide web without even doing the dirty work. Clipmark as the word itslef suggests allows you to cut clippings from websites you have liked and publish it as a post on the Clipmarks website. It is like cutting out your favourite articles from the newspaper and collecting those paper clippings in your own scrap book. Of course you won't have a web page of your own but, your posts can be made to view by a large community of clipmarkers. All you have to do is download a firefox extension which provides you a tool to graphically select an area of interest you want to clip out. After you have selected your area of interest simply click one more button to save the clip on to your own online scap book of web clippings. Well, here you have to do a bit of key pressing to login to your clipmark account (I cannot find a substitute for this bit of hard work). Voila! your clipping is ready to be viewed by the world.
I am really impressed and anxious to know the possible outcomes of such an innovation. What next?

Painting of Tica by Dru Blair

2006-03-13T11:38:00.000+05:30

I am getting more and more artistically inclined these days I feel. This is the second post about art from me. For a guy with absolutely no eye for anything asthetically pleasing(other than ladies) this is an overdose. But, when art is combined with God's most wonderful creation(read women), then I cannot overlook it. Even though I am a total moron when it comes to wooing girls, I do have an eye for an eye candy. And, good looking women are more than eye candy to me. And, if you combine it with art, then you have the most lethal combination for an art connoisseur and a layman like me. Although, distratcors and critcs of photorealistic paintings may dismiss this as pointless and non-art, for me it's a stunner, considering my experiments with art(I never could draw beyond Mickey Mouse and cell diagrams for biology class). The amount of realism the artist has achieved in this piece is awesome. Maybe, there are other fine artists who are involved in this kind of work, but for me to even fathom that this was a painting was hardwork in itself. Hats off to the artist.

Click on the link below to read more and marvel at this stunner.
Tica by Dru Blair

What's wrong with you Sardarji???

2006-03-08T14:37:00.000+05:30

One sad day Sardarji finds out from his doctor that he's going to die.
He asks the doctor if there is anything, anything at all that he can do to
save his life.

After careful consideration and analysis the doctor tells him that he'll
have to drink a milk off a mom's nipples who's just recently become a mom
for three consecutive days and he'll live.

Sardarji all depressed reaches home where his whole family relatives and
friends are there to share their sympathies. One of his childhood friends
tells him "Yaar, tennu pata hai teri bhabi da munda howa hai, teri jaan de
khaatir tu peela dood usse." Sardarji all shy goes "Mein bhabi naal aisa
kaise kar sakta hoon."

Friend: "Koi gal nahii oyee, tere se bharke thorehi hai!"

So Sardarji goes into the room where Sardarni is lying on the bed. While
sucking on the nipples he gets her aroused and when he's about to leave,
Sardarni goes "Sardarji taanu kuj hor chaiida te manglo?"

Sardarji: "Nahii nahii bhabii, tussi mere liye enna kujh kita, o bohot hai."
And Sardarji goes home.
Next day he comes back and again Sardarni all horny says "Sardarji taanu kuj
hor chaiida te manglo?"

Sardarji: "Nahii nahii bhabii, tussi mere liye enna kujh karde pe o, bohot
hai."

Final day Sardarji comes and yet again Sardarni is again real horny
"Sardarji tussi roz aandeo, aaj te kujh hor manglo tussi" Sardarji:
"Chalo tussi kendeo te dood naal biscuit hojaan te mazza aajave!"

Think before you act....

2006-03-08T14:34:00.000+05:30

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together in his groin, and rolled around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize "Please allow me to help, I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'll allow me" she told him.

"Oh no I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied, still lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them at his sides, she loosened his trousers and put her hand inside. She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and then asked "How does that feel?"

He replied "It feels fabulous, but my thumb still hurts like hell"

Indian Arts

2006-03-07T17:04:00.000+05:30

Click on the link below to browse through some exquisite art works by contemporary Indian Artists. If you are a patron of Indian arts and a collector of quality paintings, then it is worth checking out and buying the creations by these contemporary talents of the Indian Arts arena. Also, for the art buffs there is plenty of updates and news about the ongoings in the arts field in India.
India Art

Calvin - Who's Real?

2006-03-07T09:25:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Number Games

2006-03-07T09:24:00.000+05:30

A Poem...

2006-03-01T15:19:00.000+05:30

My First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I.

Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what she wanted to do.

Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine.

I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing my hands on her breast.

I remember my fear my fast beating heart
But slowly she spread her legs apart
And when I did it I felt no shame.

All at once the white stuff came
At last it's finished it's all over now
My first time ever at milking a cow.....

Bite It...

2006-03-01T15:14:00.000+05:30

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much !!!!"

Business proposal...

2006-02-27T16:20:00.000+05:30

Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO.

Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up.

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......

She said "THE BASTARD USED COINS!!!"

Management lesson:

ALWAYS CONSIDER A BUSINESS PROPOSAL IN ITS ENTIRETY!

Logitech's new device

2006-02-24T14:51:00.000+05:30

Good news for all those artistic minds working on Adobe's Creative Suite to create digital art. For people familiar with Adobe's Creative suite like the Photoshop, it is a a common feature to use keyboard shortcuts for common operations. But, memorizing these shortcuts is a pain staking and time consuming task. Even after years of experience you will still not remember all the shortcuts. Logitech has come up with a new device which could be a boon for all those artistic souls trying to create magic with bits and bytes. Also, it could mean more productivity and more money for the companies into the business of computer graphics. This device which can be worked on with your non-mouse using hand has buttons exclusively developed for the shortcuts.
For more info click on the links below,

http://stereoxide.wordpress.com/2006/02/23/control-freak/
http://home.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/
http://blog.wired.com/monkeybites/

Good Dog...

2006-02-22T16:35:00.000+05:30

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a very unusual funeral procession. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in a single line.

The man could not stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am sorry for your loss, and i know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied "well, the first coffin is for my wife."

The inquisitive man asked "What happened to her?"

The man replied "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further "Well, who is in the second coffin?"

The man answered "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied "Please join the queue."

Business Search Engine

2006-02-21T09:15:00.000+05:30

Nothing great about this search engine, except that it is designed specifically for the purpose of searching business and finance related topics on the web. Of course not a Google beater by any stretch of imagination. But, for people who are business geeks and would not like to see their search page cluttered with non-business related stuff would enjoy the search results on this engine. Just one more innovative business idea on the web. Well, for other not so business savvy people you can skip this one. I don't have to tell you what other search engine options you have - as if you were looking for options.

Click on the link to take a look at the site,
Business Chambers

Apple machines finally have a virus?

2006-02-20T16:28:00.000+05:30

I don't know the credibility of this story. But, I got a mail today in my inbox citing the attack of a virus on Apple machines. The virus spreads thro' the iChat, the popular chat messenger on Apple machines. Click on the image to read the details of this story.

Calvin - A poem

2006-02-17T09:39:00.000+05:30

The Java Story

2006-02-17T09:23:00.000+05:30

Got this as a mail forward from one of my colleagues at work. This is a story about the birth of Java and the sub-plots that led to the birth of Java and it's subsequent developments. It is truly a case study for all those intereseted or involved in the business of selling or marketing computer software or hardware. Even if you are least bit bothered about the happenings in the IT world and the world economy is as good as non-existant to you, this story will be a truly interesting read as it has all the twists and turns of a hollywood business drama. Read on...
The Java Story

P.S: This story is courtesy of a mail forwarded to me by my friend at work Anil.

World's most corrupt nations

2006-02-16T19:09:00.000+05:30

Click on the link below to find out the top ten most corrupt nations in the world. The list published by Forbes Magazine has mostly the African nations in its list. Surprisingly, India does not feature in the top ten. And we always thought there can be no country worse than India in corruption.

World's Most Corrupt Nations

Calvin - Assignment on Mercury

2006-02-16T17:42:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Last Ride to hell

2006-02-16T17:36:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Hobbes's Present

2006-02-16T17:34:00.000+05:30

If you love someone...

2006-02-16T15:34:00.000+05:30

It's just that kind of a day today. Feeling too mushy I feel. Anyway a touching moral...

Touch 'N Inspire

Fire fighters

2006-02-16T15:11:00.000+05:30

One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside

the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive

lames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical

company president rushed to the fire chief and said: "All our secret

formulas are

in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give

$50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

Soon, more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became

desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the

offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the

company's secret files.

>From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into

sight. It was the volunteer fire company from the nearby Norwegian rural

township, composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's

amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the

sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the

inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers

jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It

was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and

had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president

announced hat for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to

$200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire

fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking

their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief,

"Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"

Calvin - Legalise it

2006-02-16T15:05:00.000+05:30

Calvin - God's sense of humor

2006-02-16T15:02:00.000+05:30

The perfect match...

2006-02-16T14:58:00.000+05:30

Girl was in her late thirties and still not married.She just had a hard time
meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she
decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper. Girl wrote:
"Looking for a man who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is excellent in
bed." ..

Several days went by and she hadn't gotten a single call. Then, one day she
was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked
upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair
with no arms and no legs.

"Can I help you?" Girl asked. .. He said, "I am the man of your dreams!" ..
Girl was baffled. She said, "Excuse me." .. "I read your personal ad in the
paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I can't beat you.
I have no legs, so I can never leave you."
..

"But are you good in bed?" Girl asked. ..
He replied, "How do you think I knocked the door?!"

My Apologies...

2006-02-16T11:28:00.000+05:30

I had messed up the template settings for my blog and my blog had gone for a toss. My blog wasn't getting updated because of this stupid mistake of mine. I am extremely sorry for the error and apologise to all the regulars on my blog.

What a coincidence...

2006-02-01T09:33:00.000+05:30

A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a female
patron.
He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too".
She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile,
but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to
have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!
How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.

Windows XP SP2 annoyances

2006-01-31T10:47:00.000+05:30

I was trying to install Windows XP service pack 2 on one of the machines at my work place. I was not able to install as I was getting a "Win32 Access denied" error everytime I tried to install. Also, on some machines with SP2 I could not see the "Network connections" and could not access the dependancies tab in the Windows Installer service. My colleague at work, Clerita finally found the soln. to the problem thanks to some extensive searching and sleepless nights and some help from the google groups.

The soln. to the problem is to change a few settings in the Default Domain Policy on your server.

The relevant part of the Default Domain Policy that caused this is shown in condensed form below:

Console Root
{Group Policy}
Computer Configuration
Software Settings
Windows Settings
Scripts (Startup/Shutdown)
Security Settings
Account Policies
Local Policies
Audit Policy
User Rights Assignment
Impersonate a client after authentication .

Resolution: Change the above policy setting for Impersonate a client
after authentication to: Administrators, , SERVICE.

Restart the workstation twice (once to pick up the change in Group Policy and again to be affected by it at Windows startup)

And folks this thing really really works. This is not a very common problem and the research we had done to find the needle in the haystack was tremendous.

For complete update on this issue visit:
XP Annoyances

The above link was really helpful as not a lot of solns. were available on the net. Also, for a change some informative post on my part after a very very long time.

Dilbert - Being ethical

2006-01-24T08:56:00.000+05:30

Garfield - Cool as a cucumber

2006-01-23T16:38:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Mud Slinging

2006-01-23T10:13:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Go play outside...

2006-01-23T10:12:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Uncle Max is here...

2006-01-17T12:27:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Dad Wanted...

2006-01-13T16:03:00.000+05:30

How to put to use wasted things.....

2006-01-12T15:48:00.000+05:30

The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom
making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare
you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm
leaving this house, I want a divorce!"

The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at
least listen to what happened"

"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from
you. But make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!"

The husband begins to tell his story . . . "While driving home this

young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went ahead

and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well
dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that at she had not eaten for 3
days. With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because

you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically devoured
them."

"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower.

While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of
holes so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her

the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no
longer wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the
blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I
don't have good taste."

"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you

will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots
that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again
after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story . . . . .

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the
door.When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming
out of her eyes, she asks me:
"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"

Calvin - Value of time

2006-01-06T14:54:00.000+05:30

Is henry leaving Arsenal???

2006-01-05T16:19:00.000+05:30

This info was given to me by a friend of mine, Shivanand.

Arsenal still remains my favourite club in the English premier league, whatever maybe their league position. I like the way they play football. They play the beatiful game the way it is meant to be played, with grace and beauty. Beautiful on the ground passes with mind blowing tricks to create space from nowhere. This may
not be efficient but, it is a treat for your eyes if you are a football

aficionado. And who can represent the Arsenal spirit better than Thiery Henry. He personifies what Arsenal is made up of.

Henry is probably a very close conteneder to the spot of top striker of his times. He's not only a goal scorer but also a provider. The way he makes space for himself and his teammates within the box is spell bounding and beyond belief sometimes. But, he does it. The 28 year old has been a great asset to Arsenal. He holds the key for Arsenal now since Vierra has left for Juventus.

The rumour about Henry leaving Arsenal comes as a very unpleasant shock to me, since I am a diehard Arsenal fan. But, as a neutral observer I have to be fair to the guy. Henry is not only a great footballer, but also a great competitor and good person on and off the field. If he decides to move on I am sure he would have moved out for a change in his already sparkling career and add some more glory to his already glorius career. I will be following him wherever he goes to and still admire him for the way he plays his game. I also admire the modesty and humility with which he accepts the success that comes with his exploits on the field. Truly a great man.

As and Arsenal fan I wish he would stay on with Arsenal forever. But, as fan of Henry I agree with whatever he decides to do. Anyway, I wish him all the luck for the future.

Here's the news in detail:

Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has revealed that he fears striker Thierry Henry may decide to leave the club at the end of the season.

The 28-year-old has been linked to Barcelona, although the Frenchman played down such reports in December.

However, Hill-Wood told the Daily Star: "At the back of my mind there is a fear he will decide to go.

"I have no evidence - other than maybe I have been here too many times before with players and have become cynical."

Arsenal are understandably eager to keep hold of Henry, who overtook Ian Wright as the club's record goalscorer earlier this season.

Henry's contract runs out in the summer of 2007 and Hill-Wood added: "I am realistic enough to know that if he wanted to go he would and there would be nothing we could do about it.

"If he thought a move would better his career then we could lose him.
"It would be a shattering blow to lose him. We are as keen as mustard to keep him - he knows we are ready to talk about a new contract and will stretch every muscle to keep him."
Henry shrugs off Barca talk

Google all the way?

2006-01-04T19:05:00.000+05:30

This bit of info was sent to me by my friend Anil.

Google looks all set to rule the world by the looks of their present undertakings. Google maybe the best thing to happen in the field of computers since Microsoft Windows (on the basis of accessibility to all). The search engine has anyway achieved historical status. Now, Google is foraying into the field of desktop machines as well, albeit in their own way of taking one small step at a time (release free beta and then release the pro version after the beta has raised a public interest, can be caled mass hysteria if you use a computer that is). They have already tied up with Sun, which may boost the Open Office suite Sun has already built. Smart strategy that(if someone is good at something and you are good at another and have mass following, then link up).

Whether Google will take over as the best in the field of computer technology and informaion management, time will tell. But, the kind of mass interest their products generate-even before it is released- surely shows signs of Google not backing down from this challenge as well(after all they could manage the internet using their search engine).

Surely the competitors are not bunny rabits. After all they have been at the top for years. Microsoft has been on top for more than a decade, which is no mean feat in a rutheless world where everyone's after you. But Google-even though it is a $3Bn company- is taking baby steps towards the stop. Will it be stopped in it tracks or will it be Google all the way?

Read this blog for more info about the Google desktop computer. Will it be called a PC?

See you in the future...

2006-01-04T18:57:00.001+05:30

The kind of things us humans can think of is bewildering. I had this post in my inbox and voila! here comes a new post. The article is an interesting read. We may or may not see the future. But, what lies in the future will never sieze to amaze us. This attempt is one more in the long line of attempts to make the future look more interesting even if we cannot see it.

FutureMe.org

In the year 2009, on the 25th of April, a man named Greg is supposed to get an e-mail. The e-mail will remind Greg that he is his best friend and worst enemy, that he once dated a woman named Michelle, and that he planned to major in computer science.

"More importantly," the e-mail says, "are you wearing women's clothing?"

The e-mail was sent by none other than Greg himself — through a Web site called FutureMe.org.

The site is one of a handful that let people send e-mails to themselves and others years in the future. They are technology's answer to time capsules, trading on people's sense of curiosity, accountability and nostalgia.

"Messages into the future is something that people have always sought to do," said Paul Saffo, director of the Institute for the Future. "In a way, it's a statement of optimism."

Matt Sly, 29, came up with the concept for FutureMe.org about four years ago. He was inspired one day after recalling how during his education he had been given assignments to write letters to himself.

Sly, who partnered with 31-year-old Jay Patrikios of San Francisco on the project, said the site has made maybe $58 through donations. He is adamant that FutureMe.org is not a reminder service and that users should think long-term.

The site lets people send messages 30 years from now, though Sly's numbers show most users schedule their e-mails to be sent within three years.

"We want people to think about their future and what their goals and dreams and hopes and fears are," he said. "We're trying to facilitate some serious existential pondering."

He said a large number of the messages sent do one of two basic things: tell the future person what the past person was doing at the time, and ask the future person if he or she had met the aspirations of the past person.

"The tone of the past person is not always friendly," said Sly, now a Yale University graduate student. "It's often like 'Get off your lazy butt.'"

Recently, Forbes.com jumped on the idea, offering an "e-mail time capsule" promotion. More than 140,000 letters were collected over about six weeks. Nearly 20 percent of the messages sent are supposed to land in the sender's inbox in 20 years; others requested shorter time frames. Forbes.com is partnering with Yahoo! and Codefix Consulting on the project.

"A lot of people have kind of been freaked out by it," said David Ewalt, a Forbes.com writer who worked on the project. "It really makes you stop and think about your life in a way that you usually don't."

Another type of future message service can be found at sites such as myLastEmail.com or LastWishes.com, which promise to send messages to loved ones (or less-than-loved ones) after you die.

Paul Hudson, co-founder of the International Time Capsule Society, said e-mail time capsules were new to him.

"Part of the value of time capsules are that they are thought processes in the present," said Hudson, a historian who teaches at Georgia Perimeter College. "You define yourself when you do a time capsule. It might be a good exercise in introspection."

But sometimes the past is best left behind, said Saffo, who personally finds the whole thing "sad and really weird."

"The lesson about all these things, it's the lesson from time capsules, is you have to be careful lest you set yourself up for enormous embarrassment in two decades," Saffo said. "Do you really want to be reminded that you thought ABBA was cool?"

Service providers try to make the delivery process fail-safe through partnerships or back up software, and they urge people to hang on to their e-mail address, but there's no ironclad guarantee that the message will ever arrive.

Technology changes. Companies go out of business. Spam filters might get in the way.

Still, that hasn't deterred a sizable number of people from signing up.

On FutureMe.org, where more than 112,000 messages have been written, many writers are confident enough to make their e-mails — though not necessarily their names — public.

"I hope that I've learned to take responsibility for my actions — to not be passive aggressive and to not avoid things that are scary for me," one wrote. "I hope I've changed a little."

"Are you missing an eye? If so, I apologize." wrote another.

And, of course, the cautious optimist: "Hell, I hope you're still alive."

Something So True About Wives

2006-01-03T09:20:00.000+05:30

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
----------------------------------------------------------

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
-----------------------------------------------------------

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
wrong.
-Milton Berle
------------------------------------------------------------

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was
water in the carburetor."
I asked her , "Where's the car?"
She replied,"In the lake."
-Henny Youngman
--------------------------------------------------------------

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
-----------------------------------------------------------------

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I
was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and

didn't notice."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than
to let him keep her.
---------------------------------------------------------------

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to
interrupt her.
----------------------------------------------------------

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I
got myself two girlfriends.
---------------------------------------------------------

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than
his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------------

;Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
finished.
----------------------------------------------------------

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost
to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
----------------------------------------------------------

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa , a
Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
---------------------------------------------------------

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real

happiness was until I got married; then it was too
late.
----------------------------------------------------------

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
--------------------------------------------------------

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the
friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,
----------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over
experience.
----------------------------------------------------------

It's not true that married men live longer than single
men.
It only seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost
impossible.
------------------------------------------------------

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through
life Thinking they had no faults at all.
----------------
-----------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such
a man.
----------------------------------------------------------

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask
for
whatever he wants,
But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a
million dollarsa and beat me till I'm half dead."
---------------------------------------------------------

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
----------------------------------------------------------

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is
to forget it once.

Beware of those clippers...

2006-01-02T19:26:00.000+05:30

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic
garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the
bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says the little old
lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks
for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you
get all that money?" " Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old
lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football
stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the
bushes, right into my flower beds!" "So, I go and stand behind the
bushes with a big hedge clipper, and eachtime someone sticks his little
thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad
idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other
bag?" "Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"....

Garfield - Assorted

2006-01-02T19:17:00.000+05:30

Who's the dumber?

2006-01-02T19:16:00.000+05:30

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a
kid and hold him for

ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him
behind a tree,

and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side
of the city

playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and
sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure
enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting
next
to the bag. Sardarji

opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash
with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

Calvin - This is not my cup of tea

2005-12-29T17:12:00.000+05:30

Doggy Style

2005-12-28T14:47:00.000+05:30

Interesting pic.

2005-12-22T16:59:00.000+05:30

Feeling really bored today. Found this pic in my inbox and thought of sharing it on my blog. Looks a really cool photograph. Don't know what is going on in the picture though.

Ronaldinho is FIFA worldplayer of the year

2005-12-22T10:11:00.000+05:30

I know I am -as always- a little too late in publishing this. I have been waiting a long time to publish something on my blog now.

Ronaldinho. The name itself spells magic. He according to me is the greatest footballer of this era along with Zidane. Acoording to me he's one step better than Zidane because Ronaldinho has achieved greatness far earlier than Zidane did. Anyway, this is my personal opinion and is open to all kind of debates.

The fact of the matter is Ronaldinho is FIFA World Player for the second successive year. This award adds upto the Eurpoean Player of the year he won earlier this year. He is the third Brazilian to win the world and European player awards in the same year after Ronaldo in 1997 and 2002, and Rivaldo in 1999.
Ronaldinho picked up 956 points to comfortably beat Chelsea's England midfielder Frank Lampard (306) in the Fifa vote by national coaches and captains around the world.
The Brazilian's Barcelona teammate Samuel Eto'o of Cameroon finished in third place with 190 points.

The 25-year-old Ronaldinho also won the inaugural FIFPro World Player of the Year award, selected by his fellow players, in September.
These awards is another ndication of the greatness of this man. If he stays mentally and physically fit for the years to come then we might be fortunate enough to see the playing years of possibly the greatest ever footballer in the history of the game (although I am a little biased towars Diego Maradona).

Of course there will be doubters but, there is no doubt in my mind he's the best footballer still playing the game.

Calvin - An Educational trip

2005-12-22T09:45:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Emergeny Broadcast Equipment

2005-12-22T09:41:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Snowman

2005-12-22T09:30:00.000+05:30

Calvin - Weirdo

2005-12-20T16:34:00.000+05:30

Calvin- Hobbes dodges the bullet

2005-12-20T16:24:00.000+05:30

How foolish can you get...

2005-12-19T17:07:00.000+05:30

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot

right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have
to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your
lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and
knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened
the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a
broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken
window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke
my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the
husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank
you. You see,

I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for
a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant
three wishes. I'll Give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll
keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a
moment and blurted out,

"I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my
life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a
long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie
asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants
in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire,
burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your
wish, genie?"

" Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and
haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years,
my wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now
have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mul! led it over for a few moments and said, "You
know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I
wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.

"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the
woman went upstairs
where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying
each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop fun,
the genie rolled over and looked directly into
her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still
believe in genies?"

Calvin-Know when to shut up

2005-12-12T19:24:00.000+05:30

Calvin-Taking a snap

2005-12-12T19:23:00.000+05:30

David Blaine's latest offering

2005-12-12T19:19:00.000+05:30

A 18-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her.
Her mom said, "It's very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?' That'll scare them off."
So off she went. After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her.
She asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later, the same thing happened again; a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.
Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off.
"What will our baby be called?" she asked once more.
He began to do it with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again.
After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, gave it a knot, and said, "If he gets out of this one... David Blaine, the magician! "

The expensive Barbie

2005-12-12T19:12:00.000+05:30

>A father leaves work a little late one night and on his way home, he
> remembers that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought a
> gift.
> He parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How
> much is the Barbie in the window?"
>
> With a convincing voice the salesperson replies, "Well we have 'Barbie
> goes to the Gym' for $19.95, 'Barbie plays Volleyball' for
> $19.95, 'Barbie goes Shopping' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes to the Beach'
> for $19.95, 'Barbie goes Dancing' for $19.95, and 'Divorced Barbie' for
> $265.95."
>
> The surprised man asks, "What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost
> $265.95
> when the rest are only $19.95?"
>
> Taking a deep breath, the salesperson responds, "Sir... the 'Divorced
> Barbie' comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture,
> Ken's computer, and one of Ken's friends."

Garfield and Santa

2005-12-12T18:59:00.000+05:30

Calvin-Warlord

2005-12-12T18:54:00.000+05:30

Calvin-Baseball Dreams

2005-12-12T18:48:00.000+05:30

Driving on Bangalore Roads...

2005-12-12T17:38:00.000+05:30

This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert.

Driving in Bangalore / India

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty,often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point.

P.S: I don't know whether this article was truly written by a dutchman. I got it as a mail forward. Whoever has written it, this article truly represents the plight of commuting on Bangalore roads in a sarcastic way.

Chain Smoking

2005-12-12T17:34:00.000+05:30

So that's shit huh?

2005-12-12T17:33:00.000+05:30

Exciting Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure:

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship. It was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began.

The by-product of which is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern,
BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T," which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word.

The safest dress

2005-12-12T17:27:00.000+05:30

Calvin- It's Christmas time

2005-12-12T17:26:00.000+05:30

Who's better?

2005-12-12T17:24:00.000+05:30

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,�

Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At�

the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've�

been such a good man and your motorcycles have�

changed the world, your reward is, you can hang�

out with anyone you want to in heaven."�

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then�

said, "I want to hang out with God."�

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and�

introduced him to God.�

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so�

you were the one who invented the�

Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"�

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."�

God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in�

inventing something that's pretty unstable,�

makes noise and pollution and can't run without�

a road?"�

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally�

spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"�

� � � �

God said, " Ah, yes."�

"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to�

professional, you have some major design flaws�

in your invention:�

�

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion

� � � � �

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

� � � � �

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much

� � � ��

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust �

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

� � �

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"�

� replied God, "hold on."

� God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed�

in a few words and waited for the results. The�

computer printed out a slip of paper and God�

read it.

�"Well, it may be true that my invention is�

flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to�

these numbers, more men are riding my invention�

than yours.

God's sense of humor

2005-12-12T17:23:00.000+05:30

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way Home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

(You'll love this!!!)

God replied,

"I didn't recognize you."

Calvin-Giant Ant

2005-12-12T17:21:00.000+05:30

Calvin-Vandalism

2005-12-12T17:19:00.000+05:30

Calvin- Bouncing of the walls

2005-12-12T17:16:00.000+05:30

Who's the fastest?

2005-12-09T12:39:00.000+05:30

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University
Were to be interview for prestigious job. One common

question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: Its the Thought, b'cos thought is so fast it

comes > instantly in your mind

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you

blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Dysentery

INTERVIEWER Shocked to hear Santa’s reply, asked) "WHY”?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed

and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or

TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

ashithraj.shetty (12:28:50):

Difference between Rich and the Poor

2005-12-01T15:28:00.000+05:30

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Aids Awareness

2005-12-01T15:27:00.000+05:30

Donate Blood

2005-12-01T15:23:00.000+05:30

Many of you know that finding -ve (negative) blood group is very difficult. There is a site (mentioned below) where you can register and avail the facility whenever required. Those who are having -ve blood group can register here. You can register for others also. Please pass on this URL to as many people as possible since many of them do not have an idea about this site. Register here for tomorrow's need. Be a DONOR, save a life.

URL : http://www.negativegroups.org/

Useful for first time donors...
Do's and Don'ts : http://www.rotarybloodbank.org/donors/dodont.htm
FAQ's : http://www.rotarybloodbank.org/faqs/faqsindx.htm

Bangalore, still India's No. 1 IT destination

2005-11-30T09:15:00.000+05:30

Report by Gayatri Ramanathan in Mumbai | November 29, 2005 11:53 IST

The results of a recent study of information technology and IT enabled services companies by Trammell Crow Meghraj, international property consultants, threw up no great surprises.

Bangalore, for all its glitches, was numero uno destination for IT/ITES companies in the country, followed by Mumbai. Hyderabad and Pune steamed ahead of Delhi with Chennai and Kolkata bringing up the rear.

The study, which also aimed to gauge the gap between perception and reality in these cities, had heartening news for Chennai and Pune.

Bangalore stood tall across the board and topped each ranking. Perceptions about Pune were more or less in line with what the city offers. Hyderabad turned out to have a much better perception than what it is offering in reality.

Chennai was the exact opposite, offering much more value than perceived to be.

The study of over 100 IT/ITES companies across India was aimed at understanding the location or city preferences of these companies on different real estate parameters.

Out of the companies surveyed across Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Hyderabad, NCR (Gurgaon), Kolkata and Pune, about 42 per cent were multinational companies and the rest Indian, all with an average turnover of $40 million.

Aditi Watve, manager, land and advisory services, Trammell Crow Meghraj, Pune, says, "This apparent contradiction is exactly the biggest finding of the survey. IT/ITES commercial development seems to be the most popular option for development, mostly because of the permissible additional FSI and returns to the tune of 9 to 10 per cent. But in this process, the developers are not necessarily studying what these companies, that is, the consumers, want from the product."

Companies clearly indicated a trend towards preferring integrated townships in an IT/ITES special economic zone. Being in the neighbourhood of other prominent IT/ITES companies was seen as a necessary and important criteria.

Surprisingly, the energy efficient or green building concept did not have many takers, especially among the Indian companies. MNCs ranked this criteria much higher.

Also ready possession, plug and play developments were much more preferred to the build-to-suit, warm shell model used by most of the developers. This was also came up as one of the dampeners of the rate of growth. The average area per person demanded by all these companies is about 63 SFT per person.

Among the other surpirses thrown up by the study, outright ownership was the most important aspect overall. "This led us to believe that Indian companies were dragging the score but when Indian companies and MNCs were analysed separately MNCs also thought of it as the third most important factor. This is to a definite credit to increasing transparency in especially the commercial real estate.

"Overall, if a developer sells real estate to these IT companies, in an SEZ, that has quality residential space nearby, frontage on a prominent city road, i.e., a prestigious address in the city centre, floor plates to the tune of 20,000 to 5000 SFT, plug and play and ready possession, then it is unlikely that the developer will go wrong," says Watve.

Newly Wed...

2005-11-30T09:09:00.000+05:30

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!

Classroom Laughs

2005-11-30T09:00:00.000+05:30

The World's Smallest Website

2005-11-24T09:44:00.000+05:30

Claims to be the world's smallest website. Smaller than a postage stamp, the site
includes games, a webcam, weblog and multimedia all in 18x18 pixels.

Site : http://www.guimp.com/

Yummy...

2005-11-23T16:26:00.000+05:30

Any hungry mouths there.... Check this blog out. Your appetite will increase two folds. I found this site on my stat counter. Any bachelors out there who cannot cook can take tip or two from this blog to impress your partner- if et al you need to do that. Even if you do not intend to cook, you can get your taste buds working just looking and reading at the recipes.

Link: biscottisue.blogspot.com/

Reason to drink

2005-11-22T11:34:00.000+05:30

Is this a BUG or a twist in story ????????

2005-11-22T09:43:00.000+05:30

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat
katha to a class. He is at the 'Krishnajanma' part of it.. So let him
continue instead of me. Masterji : Dear bachcho, so Kansa heard the
akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious.
He ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and
Kansa kills him by poisoning. Sencond one is born, and Kansa thorws him off
the mountain peak. Third one is born...Now Ramu who is the smartest of the
lot puts his hand up.

Masterji (nervous & confused) : Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt
in Mahabharata and how come u have one? Ramu Beta : Masterji, if Kansa knew
that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him; WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT
VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL??

The Hunt...

2005-11-22T09:40:00.000+05:30

Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter.

Once he went to a zoo. At that time big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate.
Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.
Zoo people requested Sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage.

Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.

While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.

At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right.
Then cleverly, Dhakaan Singh put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right.

The tiger runs into the left path.With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our Sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.

After some time the roads meet again to our Sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again.

This time the road never divides and our Sardar thought
the tiger would catch him.
Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held
his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake.

The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward and dissappears!

MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too".

Coincidence????

2005-11-22T09:38:00.000+05:30

YEAR 1981

1. PRINCE CHARLES GOT MARRIED

2. LIVERPOOL CROWNED CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE

3. AUSTRALIA LOST THE ASHES

4. POPE DIED

YEAR 2005

1. PRINCE CHARLES GOT MARRIED

2. LIVERPOOL CROWNED CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE

3. AUSTRALIA LOST THE ASHES

4. POPE DIED

IN FUTURE, IF PRINCE CHARLES DECIDES TO RE-MARRY .... PLEASE WARN THE
POPE!!

Doctor Certified Software Professional

2005-11-22T09:36:00.000+05:30

Doctor Certified Software Professional

Certified that Mr.��XXXXXXX�, working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.� Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.� Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.� The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as "Come over weekend..", "Let's work on holiday..", "Leave cannot be granted.." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your project deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

�� Sd/-

Dr. Impatient

Cyber Clinic

Calvin- Time Machine

2005-11-22T09:22:00.000+05:30

Wrong Place Wrong Time

2005-11-21T18:33:00.000+05:30

Could it have been worse.... Maybe your wife finding you in bed with your secretary?????

Call the Police...

2005-11-21T18:29:00.000+05:30

50 reasons by girls to avoid a guy's proposal...

2005-11-21T18:01:00.000+05:30

Here are the top most replies of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi
2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare,
3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai.
4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai.
5 ) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao,
6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai.
7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…??
8) Magar last year to maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??
9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo.
10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??
11) Itni si baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di?? J
12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!! J
13) Sorry J
14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L………………………………"
15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu" J
16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " … (Which we guys most oftenly do J )
17) Phele kyon nahi bataya ab tum late ho gaye
18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti. J J
19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably followed by a slap)J
20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do…
Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)
Girl: saat janam J
21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)
22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…
23) Now that's a real tragedy….
Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……
Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……
24) Boy: I love U!
Gal: I don't think abt all this before marriage.
25) Keep loving I don't care.
26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…
27) Kaun sa number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein.
Ha ha ha ha….
28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi
29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi
30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi
31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge
32) Knyo, Tina ne "No" bola????
33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara????
34) Kitne time ke liye -:) ???
35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..
36) Thanks. I love you, too. J
37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U….
Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai….
38) "What?"
39) "Let's just stay away from this"
40) silence
41) girl's
42) "Give me some free space"
43) I'm the niece of your Head Of Dept.
44) My friend in college got one classic reply … "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"
45) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."
Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring, phir bhi nahi sudhare then she threatens via some common friends. J
46) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.
47) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this…cant we be just good friends for ever ;)
47) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot.
48) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.)
49) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. J
50) SLAP !! ....:( ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said)

DISAPPEARING WIFE

2005-11-21T09:47:00.000+05:30

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But,
being payday, instead of going home, he stayed
out the entire weekend partying with the boys
and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he
was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged
for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said
to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me
for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday
and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner
of his left eye.

Bangalore Potholes...

2005-11-21T09:40:00.000+05:30

This is the hieght of innovation or maybe spreading awareness, but, whatever it is it makes for a good reading for a couple of minutes.

Check out this link http://bangalorepothole.com/. Lists all the major potholes in the city of Bangalore. You could also do your bit in improving the state of BangaloreRoads by adopting a pothole or just simply browse around looking at different snaps of the city's potholed roads. Intersting to say the least.

Don't copy if you can't paste

2005-11-15T09:31:00.000+05:30

Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends
in training. Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational
speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering
the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were
spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst
into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar
decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the
pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The
greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not
my wife!"

His congregation sat shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost
10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor
finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"