Tuesday, November 28, 2006

What's in a name?

What's in a name? Well, it didnt really matter to Shakesphere what the name of a person. And, I dont think mindset of people has changed a lot about a name even in this era. Well, if you still do think a lot about a name you must be seriously out of work or you have retired from work and are looking for some different hobby to hook on to. Well, on a more serious note what I am coming to say is there is nothing more to a name than just a means of identification.

But, I guess a name means more than just a, well a name. At least that's what one can derive from the changing of names of so many cities across India. First it was the three metros of India - Bombay, Calcutta, Madras where renamed as Mumbai, Kolkatta, Chennai respectively. Now, the "christening" bug has infected the Government of Karnataka. They have decided to rename Bangalore to Bengaluru and subsequently there are plans to change the names of other major cities into some names which invokes the need of a small crash course in pronunciations.

Well modifying the famous Shakespherean question you might ask "What's in changing a name?". It wouldn't have affected us if the Chief Minister of Karnataka decided to change his son's name into something more primitive just to accomodate the kannada image into his name. Maybe, a big bash worth a few lakhs for the change of name. But, changing the name of a city involves a lot of expenditure. For one all the direction markers have to be replaced. Change the administrative records according to the new name.

Even if the financial expenses are ignored as a one time expense ( I guess the Karnataka Government coffers are overflowing with funds. Wonder why the infrastructure is still taking a beating with all this excess funds?) the image of Bangalore which is been built across decades partially depends on the name of the city as well. Bangalore has risen as the IT capital of India by the rush of multi national IT majors from across the globe. And, for all these multi nationals Bangalore still will be Bangalore except when they might look at Bengaluru in some memorandoms they might sign on. Even then they might wonder is it the name of a pre-historic mammal. Anyone who has worked on building a brand does know the brand name holds the key. The name Rolls Royce gives you the immediate feeling of royal luxury and comfort. Its the same with the brand called Bangalore. Even if it looks Bangalore has risen fast as the IT capital of India, the brand name Bangalore is still in the process of catching on worldwide. I wont say Bangalore is barely known by people. After all there is term called Bangalored. But its Bangalored not Bengalured. That is the difference a brand name can make. It can make or break a brand. Will the change of name make or break only time will say.

Let's ignore the brand name part as well. Bangalore has enough IT majors who have set up their shop in the city. Bangalore (pardon me I still find Bangalore catchy) can pull through. But, does it really matter to you or anyone what is Bangalore called. Well, the legislators might also ask the same question. If it doesnt bother you why make an issue out of it? To their kind information it doesnt really matter to me neither does it to the millions of others. They will still call Bangalore, Bangalore. But it will hurt the pockets of millions of tax payers of Karnataka who pay taxes in the hope of living a better and smoother life. I guess living a smoother and efficient life is passe. Changing the name seems to be more appealing to our legislators which is the only reason that justifies the expenditure on changing names. Or is it some superstition like most of the Bollywood filmmakers have about the names of their movies? Or is it to compete with the three metros whose names are changed (the names were pronunciable at least unlike the long Bengaluru)? After all Bangalore is no less than a metropolitan, might be termed a metro pretty soon as well. So then we are stuck with the same question. What's in a name? However, deep you try to dig into the mystery you return back clueless. As usual compromise with the decisions of the pot bellies and carry on with your mundane day to day activities, ignoring your rights to question a decision even if it is right. After all we are the world's largest democracy. Or are we really a democracy? About that issue, some other time. For now lets have some fun in free time and start helping out with some innovative names for the other cities.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Preacher's Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races.However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race.The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey.The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go.Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

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